"Oh yeah get ya ass in this car!" Ari screams out to me.
"Look baby I did this for us." All my words are bit slurred now as I grab her chin and she smacks my hand down.
"Nah nigga, who the fuck is Viv? That's the slut you was waking up next to?" She very animated at this point.
"You know Viv? She's just a coworker." I have to slow down now with my mouth because I'm getting a bit beside myself, I ain't that drunk.
"Oh so these hoes can't respect your marriage? She looks at me way too long to be driving. Women don't care about lives when they're angry I swear.
"Just a coworker baby we've worked together on a few cases her name must've been on the tip of my tongue." I say putting my head back preparing to go to sleep.
"Yeah right nigga, ya ass probably being smart. She was probably really on the tip of your tpngue. Yeah just wait". She stops talking.
I'll happily wait. I got what I want. She's coming back to the house. That's a start.
We get home and sit in the car in the driveway. Ari isn't speaking anymore. She seems calm. My stomach hurts too damn much to speak at this point so I'm quiet too but I try anyway.
"Baby, I'm sorry. I just wanted you to be home with me." I say with my face in my hands.
"Lance I don't care. I'm just making sure you don't mess your career up. You already did your best messing this marriage up." She calmly says.
"Whoa Ari, we've both hand a hand in this." I suddenly look up.
"Lance I reacted off your actions. Had you never ignored and neglected me I would have never look elsewhere for comfort." She said giving me a look as to say "nigga this is your fault."
Women blame everything on revenge. If a woman does slip up it's always, always, in reaction to the man doing something. They never take full responsibility for their actions. I can't make anyone do anything. However, I do know I can't win this argument and I don't want to. I just want her to stay so I just give in.
"Ok Ari, let's just go inside.
We both get out and I throw up as soon as I get out into the white snow. I go inside and instantly lie down. It's very early in the day about two in the afternoon so I take a little nap.
A few hours later I wake up and go into the kitchen.
"Ari!" I call out looking for her.
I go to the kitchen to get a pop and there's a note on the refrigerator door:
"Lance I left while you were sleep. I really think you need to get yourself together and see if this is what you really want. I know you have a lot of stress so I'm giving you some space. With this space you need to stop drinking and distance yourself from Viv. Do that then a month from now we can talk. I still expect you at doctor appointments. Bobbi picked me up. Get it together."
"What?!" I scream out.
Everything I did just meant nothing. I begin to cry. I feel so empty at this point.
Not knowing what else to do, I find my whiskey bottle and pour a couple of drinks.
I sit back on the couch and become angry at everything. I want to do better I swear but I don't know how. I'm doing what I know. My dad didn't teach me anything about loving a woman why can't she just be more patient.
I need to call my brother. My brother is a pastor now after a pretty wild life as a young man. I hate calling him because he always preaches to me but he's usually right and I need some guidance.
I pick up my phone.
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